God is good

Small Enough ~Nichole Nordeman

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when i was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping,
like in soloman's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

A very wise man told me that the biggest question we will struggle with as sons and daughters of Christ is not whether God exists, but whether He is good. There is so much sadness in this world. It's so hard to understand why these things happen, why we have to see others suffer, why God doesn't make life easier. I have no idea why things have to be this way, but I know this:

God is good all the time

I Praise God for His love. I Praise God for His goodness. I Praise God for His immanence. I Praise God for not being a God who is silent. But sometimes I have to remember that it's ok to ask God "why". It's ok to take my sorrows to Him. He is small enough to hear me. He is big enough to hold me. He can carry my burdens.

It's so easy to get bogged down, to start believeing that my prayers have no power. God's the one who's in control, why would He listen to me. But He does! The Lord of Heaven and earth bends his ear to a wretch like me! Lord, forgive me for neglecting prayer. Forgive me for doubting that my words mean anything to you. Forgive me for forgetting that You work through the prayers of your people. God, make it right. Bring glory to your name. Reveal your goodness to us. Don't forget your people.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below, praise Him above ye heavenly hosts, praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen

Currently Listening Christmas Extraordinaire By Mannheim Steamroller, George Frideric Handel, Irving Berlin, James R. Murray, Pyotr Il'yich Tchaikovsky, Noel Regney, Christmas Traditional, Ray / Livingston, Jay Evans, Catalan Traditional, Alfred S. Burt, Felix Bernard, Robert Burns, Chip Davis see related

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I want my Mommy... And my Daddy... And a fire... and a christmas tree...

Is it christmas break yet?!?!?!

Happy Halloween!!!

It's so weird for it to be Halloween and I am not even doing anything. Well, except for working on the funnest project ever for my inklings class. I'm making an anthology of Tolkien's poetry from the second half of The Lord of the Rings (books 4-6) and it's pretty much the most fun I've had doing homework since I don't know when. I get to go to all these crazy Tolkien websites and learn all this nerdy stuff about Elbereth (The queen of the stars, also known as Varda. Wife of Manwe the King of Arda) and Athelas (Kingsfoil. A plant considered a mere weed in the 3rd age, but which actually has many healing properties). I can't believe this is for a class...

Anyways, all this to say, I really miss my DCHS girls tonight!!! We should be drinking pumpkin juice and watching Audrey Rose!! I want to dress up like Harry Potter characters and dance to Thriller...

I love you girls and I hope y'all are all having a wonderful night!

Currently Listening Ohio By Over the Rhine Ohio see related

What have we become?

It's amazing the ways we thwart the beautiful, wonderful gifts of God. He has been so generous to each of us in our own way. He has given us an analytical mind, or creativity, or musicality, or kindness, or charisma, or any number of other skills, talents or qualities, and instead of glorifying Him for and with our talents and gifts, we pervert them. Not only do we seek our own glory, but we seek to devalue others with the gifts God's given us. "I'm so glad God gave me this passion and ability for academic knowledge" becomes "I'm so glad I'm so smart" becomes "I'm so glad I'm so much smarter than that girl and her friends" or "I can't believe the things that guy says! Doesn't he realize how ignorant he is?"

There is nothing that glorifies our Savior less than when we seek to cast down our brothers or sisters for our own benefit. What a tragedy that we should so disfigure something so beautiful; something that allows us to praise and serve the Lover of our souls. How much wonderful, great, enormous good could we do if we simply "used our powers for good"? A sharp intellect could be used to teach and encourage and counsel others. A musical mind could be used to remind us who the giver of every good and perfect gift is. An artistic eye could reveal the beauty that our Creator has brought into being. Our gifts are not meant to stratify us according to ability and skill; they are meant to remind us that we are equal and unified as children of the God who gives these great gifts.

I realized tonight that I am a part of the type of group that made me miserable in high school. Not that I hang out with bad people, that's not what I'm saying at all. I think I hang out with the most wonderful people imaginable and I have no idea why God saw fit to bless a wretch like me with such amazing friends. But I am also friends with many very, very gifted people. And I realized tonight as we sat there, how I (and we) must often appear to the members of that class: "We lurk in the back row in our stylishly eccentric attire, and we think we already know everything there is to know about Lewis and Tolkien and Barfield and Sayers. We laugh at other peoples' ignorance or goofiness and get in their faces to tell them they are wrong. We keep to ourselves. We don't need anyone else's approval, because we have our own approval. Who cares about your feelings? We are right and you are wrong. How dare you actually come into a class and not already know everything about the subject. We know it all, and if you don’t, you should keep your mouth shut."

I'm not saying that's really how we are or that we intend to come off that way at all (I hope we don’t come off that way… but I fear that we often do). But I think there are some serious heart issues to be explored here. As I sat in class, I can't claim that I learned a whole lot about Dorothy Sayers or C. S. Lewis, because I was busy staring into the tangled, deformed mess that is my own heart. How have we as a people strayed so far from what we were created to be? How much more would God be glorified if we were half as passionate about and proud of the gospel as we are about our musical tastes? How much more would He be glorified if we truly used our intellectual and social gifts to encourage and love on other people, without fear of their opinions and without regard for our own personal or group image? Are we really accepting, and loving people, or do we cast others off and hurt our brothers and sisters because of our self-righteous pride and utter blindness?

Its times like this, when I am confronted so strongly with my own twisted nature, that I am so grateful for the redemptive power of my God.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, and I don't know exactly what it is that I'm trying to say. I doubt anyone even reads this anymore considering I haven't posted in months. But these things are weighing heavily on my heart tonight. I know that I don't have any great intelligence, and I know that I don't have a way with words like so many others, but I just needed to send my thoughts into this so-called void.

So (as Kathleen Kelly once said...) Goodnight dear void.